Lataz NC

I promise... no hummers from trannies.

Once again, The Bellagio and I will be together as one!!!


On my way to the airport. Take care everyone :)



T

Greensboro Indoor Tennis Championships at Barber Park

For the first time in almost 15 years, I am playing United States Tennis Association tournaments. There are some major differences between now and then though.

Major Difference #1 - 15 years ago I was playing in the junior divisions. Kids are jerks...and cocky little bastards. 45% of the good players thought their shit didn't stink. Snootiness and bad attitudes everywhere in the juniors! Very little of that crap exists in the adult ranks.

Major Differnece #2 - The adult division I play in now, NTRP 3.5 singles & doubles, contains very few phenominal players. Most players are around the same skill level. If someone is clearly better than everyone else in the division, the rankings computer will automatically bump them up to a higher division and I won't have to worry about them. Makes for better competition and faster improvement in my own game.


This past weekend I learned how truly out of shape I am. My first round match was one of the first matches of the tournament. I played a native Russian, who now lives in Johnson City, Tennessee, Vitaly Nazarov. I really should have beaten this guy. He beat me 12-10 in a tiebreaker.

My 1st round consolation match pitted me against one of the seeded players, Dave McGee, of Mebane, NC. Dave is a good buddy of mine and we have played singles and doubles against each other on numerous occasions. We're fairly evenly matched, but I was able to beat him in a 3rd set tiebreaker, 10-1.

Next came my first round doubles match (partner - Brian Reder.) Brian hadn't played in 8 weeks and it showed in our match. I wasn't playing spectacular myself, but Brian was struggling with his serve and the rust was extremely evident.

Soon I was in the semi-finals of the consolation round. I had to play at 8:00 AM on Sunday morning. I had played 2 long matches the day before and was worn out. I also knew I had to play doubles after about a 30 minute rest when my singles was over. My singles match could have gone either way, but I ended up losing.

Time for my doubles match rolls around and Brian is nowhere to be found. Turns out he got pulled for speeding on the way to Barber Park, but he managed to make it before the director defaulted us. Due to there only being 6 teams in our doubles division, were playing for the 3.5 Consolation Championship. We were better players than our opponents and outplayed them as well. We won handily, 6-3, 6-0. Brian's serve had apparently healed itself over the course of the night. My net-play was just ON. It was brutal.

I came home and napped for the rest of Sunday. I woke up around time to watch the Colts-Patriots game, then fell back asleep. I slept like a baby this weekend every night. I am still worn out from playing so much frikkin' tennis.

Oh yeah, I leave for Vegas next Tuesday....WOOT!!!

It finally happened The frikkin' government dropped the bomb on me

My recent dealings with NETELLER.

This could be the end for online poker for the United States.


Kriya: Welcome to our live chat service. How may we help you?
Thomas: Hi
Kriya: Hello, how may i assist you?
Thomas: Can you please explain to me why NETELLER is no longer providing transactions for PokerStars?
Kriya: Due to recent legislation and related events, US members will no longer be able to transfer funds to or from any online gambling site effective January 17th, 2007. All other NETELLER services remain available to US members. They can continue to hold funds safely in their NETELLER accounts until such time as they decide to move the funds. The changes in gambling merchant transfers do not affect the ability of US member to maintain funds in their NETELER e-wallet accounts. NETELLER protects all members’ funds (all deposited, in-transit and un-cleared funds) by holding the value in independent trust accounts. NETELLER is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority in the UK.
Kriya: NETELLER continues to allow US members to transfer funds to non-gambling merchants. Additionally, NETELLER offers a peer-to-peer transfer service that allows members to instantly send money to friends and family around the world. US member NETELLER accounts will NOT be closed, your funds will continue to be held securely and you will always have full access to funds held by NETELLER. Currently we are experiencing unprecedented volumes through our withdrawals department. Due to this volume there maybe delays of up to 2 weeks for an EFT withdrawal and 6-8 weeks for cheque withdrawal. If you have any further questions, please visit http://updates.neteller.com.
Thomas: I have had an account with NETELLER for quite some time for the sole purpose of depositing to the sites where I play online poker
Kriya: Please read the above scripting...
Thomas: I read the ABOVE SCRIPTING
Kriya: Due to recent legislation and related events, US members will no longer be able to transfer funds to or from any online gambling site effective January 17th 2007
Kriya: I meant no disrespect...
Thomas: I understand that
Thomas: Thank You for your time
Kriya: You're welcome. Thank you for choosing NETELLER!
Kriya: Thank you for using NETELLER Live Chat. We appreciate your business and look forward to assisting you again. Bye for now.

If you suck at poker and have money...please invite me over!

After ComedySportz on Saturday night I went to a buddy's place in Raleigh to play a cash game. The limit was a little more than I wanted to play, but everyone kinda sucked... so I knew I would make a small killing.

When playing against a group of suckers I strongly suggest the "premium hand only" method. (These people are friends of mine so I'll try to not berate them too much...)

The night starts off with ordering pizza and online poker bad beat stories, which are far better than ghost stories and almost as exaggerated. We begin our "friendly" limit game with 8 players and I see them raising and reraising with K4, J5 (Motown), Q10, etc. I decide to apply the premium hands only strategy. It took 15 minutes or so and, but I finally caught pocket queens.
I limp UTG (Under the Gun - first player to act), hoping to get raised so I can re-raise. Sure enough... 2 more limpers and a pot-sized raise by the SB (Small Blind) I re-raise the pot and get 2 callers. Turns out one of the guys had a somewhat legitimate hand (AQ). The flop... J-J-4... rainbow (no flush draw possibilities.) I bet the pot and get raised some crazy amount but I only had enough in front of me to call about half of it. turn was a 5 and the river was a K. My Queens held up and I took down a pot large enough to pay for my plane ticket and then some.

At this point I was getting sleepy but the win gave me a little more energy :)

I decided I'd stay for another orbit and then head out. I did catch AK, but didn't want to play it against a raise and a reraise holding random cards.

I just got back to work from depositing the funds in my bank account. I had already purchased my ticket about 2 or 3 weeks ago. Got an amazing deal flying out of RDU the 30th of this month, but I have a 3 hour layover in Charlotte. Flying alone is no fun... Bleh... but for $187 and some odd cents round-trip, it's well worth it!

My flight leaves Raleigh at 7:30 AM.... Bleh!


I am looking forward to the trip though. Poker tournies...Poker tournies... and more Poker tournies! Hopefully my BlackJack can pay for my tournaments like it did last Vegas trip.

I'll keep everyone posted.


Becky Whittemore helped me out earlier this month by switching ComedySportz show nights with me, and I promised to bring her something back from the trip. I hope she likes hookers.

PokerStars: 5 Card Draw

My buddy Rick and I wind up at a 5 card draw table together on PokerStars. I had been playing at that table for around a half hour when I see his avatar pop up. I am already doing fairly well at this table... I am dealt 3 Kings on the original deal and decide to slow play them. I just limp in and hope someone raises...

This is a Pot Limit table...Rick raises the size of the pot and I think for a minute and call. I can't remember how many he discarded, but I was fairly positive I was going to take his money regardless. It was really nice when the 4th King was dealt to me on the draw. I'm known to throw in a bluff every once in a while, otherwise I'd never get my large bets paid off. I was fairly confident that I could get Rick to bet if I checked. He bet and I raised the size of the pot...he thought for a little while and called. He mucked his cards and I never knew what he called me with, but whatever it was... I really appreciated it. He has a bazillion dollars in his account so I only made a small dent.

(Rick got me back though when he sucked out a 9 on the river to give him a boat to my nut flush.)

Poker is all about making the right moves at the right time. Both instances I feel like I made the best play possible against him. Rick is a fairly strong player and we like to bitch to each other about hands we played and lost...as well as hands we played perfectly and won an ass-load on. We didn't have to e-mail or call each other this time though....because I was his victim as he was mine prior.

I have been neglecting World of Warcraft lately and really need to get back to levelling my Night Elf Rogue. Back to nerddom for a little while.

Poker - Overplaying AA, KK, QQ, JJ

I have made quite bit of loot lately online by calling small raises more often than I used to with suited connectors. While, I'd much rather have pockets aces, the connectors always seem to bring in more cash when they hit.

I have been playing a lot more cash games as of late. I have also been taking full advantage of the people that either slow-play their large pockets pairs pre-flop or only raise a minimum amount with them. I love holding 7-8 suited or 10-J suited against pocket Aces or Kings. I can easily lay them down if nothing hits...or I can extract a large amount from the person holding the large pair if I hit.

Here is an exaple of a hand I played last night that netted me a nice profit. 6-player Cash game table on Pokerstars. I'm sitting in the big blind position and am dealt 10-J suited (Clubs.) One of my tablemates doubles the blind and another player calls. It's one bet to me to play and I call. 3 players go to the flop... 10(h)-J(s)-4(c). I flop top two pair. The original raiser bets some obscure amount and I'm fairly sure he has Aces or Kings and will have problems laying his hand down. The other player folds. Raising may indicate my hand strength, so I just call. Turn is the 6(c) which now adds a flush draw to my hand. He bets big on the turn and I decide it's time to make him pay... I raise all-in for the rest of my money. He instantly calls and shows his Q's (yeah...my read was slightly off.) The river was the Ace(c) and my two pair turns into a flush and I take all of the poor guy's cash.

My play as of late has been nearly flawless. I have almost paid for my trip to Vegas next month with my cash game play.

I finished at the final table of a small buy-in tournament the other night also. I made a bonehead play preflop with A8 and got caught by AK. Ended up 7th out of 180 players, but I played well and made some good reads along the way.

Golden Palace Casino can lick my balls!

About 2 months ago I made a $25 deposit into Golden Palace Casino's new Tournament Blackjack site. I have since turned this $25 into quite a bit more.

I am taking a vacation to Las Vegas at the end of January and wanted to go ahead and cash out just enough to go ahead and pay for my plane ticket. Depositing the funds was simple, but withdrawing the funds is a bitch. I have never withdrawn from them before, thus when I went to make a withdrawal I received a message that I needed to fax them a picture ID and my social security card. Lots of sites do this for security purposes and I had no problem whatsoever with that. I called them today to explain my situation to them and to see if they needed me to send them my account info as well with my SS card and picture ID. They have added several more layers of security and now require that I fax them the front and back of the card that I made the deposit with along with 2 bills with my mailing address on it. All I want for them to do is to add the funds to the original card that deposited with. Most of my bills are still in my great-grandmother's name and they are having issues with the info being legitimate. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

It is apparently going to take an act of congress to get the money that is rightfully mine. Most places will at least deposit the original amount back to your card and then offer to send you a check for the remainder.

"Boo!" to Golden Palace I say! "Booooooooooooooooooo!"

Thanksgiving at Jennings's's's

THURSDAY

Turkey... Barbecue... Football... then back home

World of Warcraft (Priest almost to level 58 )... Family Guy on DVD... Sleep


FRIDAY

DSI going through lotsa changes (according to DSIComedyTheater.com Forums)... work... testing out new video production camera... Ted's Mash-Up CD getting me through day

Borat has Raisins in his Toast

I went to see Borat with Jennings, Katie, and Becky last night. The movie was really good. We proceeded to Waffle House after the movie. This was the first time I had Waffle House in almost a year. You know how I know Scott Jennings is gay... he knows all the words to a Dido song.

Raisins in my Toast and Grill Operator are the best Waflle House songs ever!!!

Another weird-ass dream (which I hope doesn't come true)

It was senior school picture day at my old high school. DSI had agreed to perform to keep people waiting in line to have their photo made. I did a scene with Joe Jones and I apparently said something that offended him. I saw a tear roll down his cheek and I approached him to apologize. He was extremely angry with me, but instead of hitting me or confronting me in any way, he proceeded to run to the Burlington Square Mall. He continued to run away from me inside of the mall. I finally caught up with him and as he was about to speak to me I woke up in a heated sweat. It seemed so real though.

What was the purpose of this dream? Maybe Joe Jones has something important to tell me. I'll ask him this weekend.

I miss poker with my PPA tour bretheren

Here is an e-mail I received from a friend of mine who I taught poker strategy to many moons ago. It was indeed nice to hear from him.

I agree entirely with him about the crap that is going on at PokerStars right now. Most of the psychotic play on Stars can be attributed to all of the players migrating from other online poker sites that have been shut down due to the new law.

Here's the e-mail:

Tommy,

I don't know about you, but I've gotten back into playing on Stars this weekafter having been out of it for about three months, and I honestly believethe game has gotten worse. I've probably played about 200 hands, I'mtalking playable hands, and the following happens:A) Can't hit a flop, or even get three to a straight or flush.B) Been playing my monster hands strong by raising pre-flop a good amountand get called by inferior hands for them to win at the end and cripple me.C) Half the hands I have had have been six-high.D) Those on draws won't lay down (especially the gutshot going into theriver) while I have my set.E) And finally, playing the $1, $2, and $3 tournaments at night arebasically freeroll. You can also include the $5 and even the $10 games.I'm lucky to make it out of the second blind level.Bottom line, I can't cash based on stupidity.What all I'm getting at is......Poker Taverns could get another look at me after a nine-month layoff......assoon as I land a job to make some gas money.You might want to check me out this weekend. I plan on playing a tournamentor two during the afternoon.One other thing......do you object to Sunday afternoon tournaments online??I'm leaning more towards that day that does not conflict with Hitt's homegames.That also reminds me. I really would like to see you come back to Hitt's place to play. We need the players like you that keep the place entertained. Give Hitt a call or e-mail him one. He's supposed to start his first event a week from this Sunday(11/19). Later, dude!!!!

Something is about to change?!?!?

This is going to seem really weird...
Around 90% the "legitimate" dreams that I have come true.

The dreams I have had for the past 10 or so years that could possibly happen...the ones that involve me and other "real" people from my life...they come to form in real life.

I had a dream a few nights ago that something major in my life is about to change for the better. It's odd, because it wasn't clear in my dream what that major thing was.

According to my dream, look for something major to be announced here on this blog in the next month or so.

I am only 59% Bitch. Oh, Thank God

You are 59% Bitch!

Wow! You really are becoming a real Bitch! Has anyone ever told you that? I think you need to calm it down! Before you can't turn back from being a big Bitch! Being Cruel isn't that fun!

How much of a B*tch Are you?
Create MySpace Quizzes

Tyra Banks wants to scrog me, w00t!!!

Well...she did until I used the word, "scrog."

Here's proof:

What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract models! Congrats, something about you makes those model-quality people flock to you. This is good for obvious reasons - they look great, just having them nearby attracts other models, and it opens doors for you - like exclusive clubs and whatnot. If you are seeking pure physical beauty, you are all set. If you are seeking someone that is not cynical and slightly bitter about humans in general, someone focused on the human condition and intellect, then you are out of luck - but who cares, you attract models!
You attract artsy people!
You attract geeks!
You attract unstable people!
You attract Yuppies!
You attract rednecks!
What type of person do you attract? Quizzes for MySpace

My lack of an accent

I can give myself just about any accent I feel like giving myself, but my Southern accent stands out a little more than anything else.

According to a test I took, I do not have an accent.

Here are the test results:

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The Northeast
The Inland North
The South
Philadelphia
The West
Boston
North Central
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

Tennis & Trivia

Brian Reder and I won our first round doubles match on Monday night, but were then beaten to a pulp by the top team in the tournament on Wednesday night. This marks another year with a different doubles partner in the tennis tournament. Brian and I played really well together though. It didn't help theat we were playing against a team comprised of one of Burlington's best players and a guy who was a former teaching pro. Oh well, the Mebane tennis gang hit La Cocina afterwards and I forgot all about the loss.

After I got home from La Cocina, I took a shower and headed down to Tyler's in Carrboro for Trivia Night. It was nice to have Lauren Frohne join Scott, Katy, and I.

We sucked a fat nut at just about every portion of Trivia Night last night. Oh shit...my lunch-mate is ready to go to lunch...

Must....consume....mass...quantities...

TB

The "It" Crew

Thanks, but no thanks. I have this really weird feeling of deja vu.

A post for my non-improv amigos - Night of the Living Improv

This is our CageMatch performance from DSI's Halloween "Spooktacular"<----(see what I did)

About eighty people have this on their blogs now, but I wanted to post it so my non-improv friends can enjoy. We decided that we should do shortform....and it worked out really well.



Part 1:


Part 2:

Chessnia

Good Lord...Trivia Night at Tyler's is rough! With no music round this week, I think I was only able to assist with one or two questions. The picture identification round was slightly easier this week, but I would have only been able to get about half of the celebs on my own.

Penny Pinching is going okay thus far. I could be doing better, but this is the first time I've been in a financial bind in several years. I have some cash that I have accumulated from playing tournament BlackJack online stored away. I am going to refer to the cash as being "in an overseas account" so it sounds cool. The funds are indeed held in an account overseas, but it is merely my player account with Golden Palace. I have yet to make a withdrawal from that account so I have to fax them a picture ID and Social Security Card. I have to make time at work today to do that...Fun Fun :(

I read a very intriguing post on the PokerTaverns.com message boards yesterday by Kim Hanisak, one of my friends who used to assist me with running poker tournaments in that league. The post was about respect for tournament directors. I ran tournaments in that league for almost a year and had fun doing so, but there were several occasions where players were less than respectful for no good reason. I volunteered my time because I love poker and I had developed awesome relationships through that channel. When someone wants to be an ass, it is very tough to not walk away then and there. Example: In the Tavern Finals at Goldie's, I was assisting a table with an issue and came back to find that my tablemates had folded my pocket cards. I was gone less than 2 minutes. What a bunch of douchebags. I don't know what was said to Kim, but I know exactly how she feels. Please folks, be nice to Tournament Directors, especially those that are there on a volunteer basis.


PT stepped in a huge puddle...it was funny!


That is all.

TB

I've been asked to write again

Due to the overwhelming popularity of the MMORPG, World of Warcraft, our Features editor has asked me to write a column from a player's perspective about being part of the World of Warcraft community.

The piece ought to be fun to write, but I haven't written for the paper in about 2 years. It's going to seem weird being published again.



Let us change the subject entirely. I just got my student loan payments up to date. I am going to be a poor mofo for about a week and a half (at which time more bills will roll in and I'll be a poor mofo for 2 more weeks.)

I broke a string playing tennis the other night and have to have my racquet re-strung. It's a good thing because the strings had already lasted almost a year and I have a tennis tournament coming up next week and I needed my gear up to par. It is also bad thing because it costs money for the strings and for the stringing. I also went ahead and told the guys at the pro shop to put a new grip on for me. I also have to pay for the entry into the tourney. Holy Crap... expenses, expenses, expenses!

Maybe it's time to start my side business as a man-whore.